NOOO! I Have To Get Out of the House?

My friend Katie asked me a couple of weeks ago how I can be on time for things with three kids? My answer, I plan to leave 20 minutes sooner than I actually need to leave. Usually this allows me to be just on time. Those of you with more than one kid know what I mean. I was thinking over what I have to go through to get out of the house with three kids, and it is very comical and I am proud of myself for even getting out!

Let's start with the players 1) Me, mom let's just say I am a little north of 21 years old. 2) Jason, dad not quite as north of 21 as I am. 3) T.J. 11 years old (ah the joys of not caring about your age) 4) Eric 2 almost 3. 5)Brooke 11 months old.
They look innocent, don't they?

Here is typically what I go through on a morning when we need to get out of the house at a certain time.

I like to pack the diaper bag the night before. I can't tell you how many times I have been without the right diapers, or have no wipes etc. So I try to pack before hand. I always forget something, but I try! The wisest thing I have ever done as a parent is put a couple of diapers and some wipes in a gallon zip-lock back and leave them in the van!

Morning arrives and I have to get up before the kids. I will never get through showering, dressing or make-up if they are up. Most of the time, make-up is sacrificed. I am happy that I have a cute blouse on! Score!

Then it is time to get the kids going. Just my luck they pick the day we have to get somewhere to sleep in. Not much fun to get sleepy kids (especially babies) going. Diaper changes, except for T.J, and getting dressed. Usually I have to send T.J. back to his room at least once because his clothing clashes. If I am lucky I can find the clothes I need for the kids in their room, not in the hamper, washer, or dryer. However the later is usually the case!

Then there is trying to get these kids to eat breakfast. Eric and T.J. are the picky eaters but Brooke will chow down at any moment. Typically I can't get Eric to eat till he's been up an hour so often he has an Eggo on the go!

Then there is usually the following conversation with T.J
'Did you brush your teeth?
No
Why?
Cause I didn't eat much and I brushed last night
Get up stairs and brush your teeth
Fine (stomps up the stairs)
And while you are at it, please put on a shirt that matches!
What goes with these?
ugh!'

Then I usually notice that my blouse somehow got some breakfast on it. Brooke likes to spit on me. I usually have to evaluate if said stain is bad enough to go upstairs and change it. Typically it is bad enough but, that will have to wait til later.

Then I have to start loading the van. Diaper bag, coupons, shopping lists, drinks, snacks, my list just grows and grows. Wow, these kids need a lot of stuff! Or is I need a lot to deal with them?

When I get back from packing the van there is a crying or screaming child to deal with for some reason. I usually have to yell to T.J. that he has 5 minutes to be ready to go out the door. At this point my 20 minute window has usually gone down to 2 minutes.

Then I start to help Eric with his shoes. While putting on Eric's shoes I smell something foul. Of course Brooke needs a new diaper. Okay finish Eric's shoes, run upstairs, change her and we can go.

"T.J! We need to leave now!"

Get back downstairs and think, crap, I should have changed my blouse while I was upstairs!

Then get ready to load the kids.

Wait, still have a foul smell... great Eric needs a new diaper.

Forget the no shoes upstairs rule to go change him!

Come downstairs to try to load them in the car again... dang I forgot to change my blouse. Why can't a shirt I can wear be in the dryer downstairs when Brooke's outfit was?

Load Brooke in the van

Run upstairs to change blouse

"T.J! I am leaving now, if you can't be downstairs I am leaving you home!"

"Jason, you need to help me with these kids" "Just a minute"

Load Eric in van. Now because of the garage cabinets I can not access the passenger side of the van while in the garage. So usually I have to hoist Eric over Brooke's car seat and buckle him after we pull out of the garage. Yeah bad planning there.

T.J arrives from upstairs and then declares he needs his cd player, or his book, or his magazine or his psp and runs upstairs.

Lock garage door and pull van out

Then I park, unlock and buckle Eric into his carseat.

Where are Jason and T.J.? Finally they arrive out the front door after setting the alarm. T.J. will explain he is late because he couldn't find batteries or a charger or something. Jason will say he had to use the bathroom.

Finally they load up and buckle in and we go.

Then I look down and notice my blouse is dirty. Must of rubbed it against the van.

Now I am tired and ready for a nap, and we just barely drove down the street.

Now that it has hit 115 degrees I think I will stay home and wear my dirty blouse. Don't worry I can change it when we come to back to get T.J's homework, or the mail I forgot to take.