Jeanne's Baby Commandments

Now that my sister and step sister in law are first time mommies, I thought I'd share what I have learned.

The less pretty stuff:

1) The toys you bought are useless. Baby would rather play with whatever you have, cell phone, purse, remote, keys, diaper, measuring cups, box, cloth, garbage.
2) The nicer your outfit, the more likely baby will wet, spit up, or poo on it.
3) The bigger your hurry to get out the door, the more baby poos.
4) Whatever baby eats or drinks, will come back again in more disgusting form.
5) You will never sleep well at night again.
6) The quieter the function your are at (church, movie etc) the louder baby cries.
7) More food will land on you then on baby, more food will land on baby then in baby.
8) Whatever baby can grab, baby will chew.
9) Whenever you finish all the laundry, baby will make huge mess and give you another load. Laundry is never done.
10) You and the house will never be clean again for longer than 30 minutes.

Now the happier stuff:
1) Keep the camera charged, you can never get enough pictures.
2) You now can blame all rude noises and smells on baby.
3) Their smile and/or laugh will make the worst day great.
4) Strangers will smile at you because of your cute baby.
5) Sing, no matter how bad the voice, baby will love it.
6) Cuddling will have a whole new wonderful meaning.
7) Everyday is a new adventure of firsts.
8) Remember how amazing your body is, watching him/her discover theirs.
9) People expect less from you because of the baby, IE I can't because the baby is sleeping.
10) You are discovering a new love like you have never known before.

Add yours to the bunch!