Diva

I am sure seeing these pictures you think she is a sweet happy baby. Okay well she is, but she has also totally turned my life upside-down.

Yes she thinks that is funny

I am not the most experienced with babies in the world. I am the youngest child in my family. I babysat, but that isn't close to being a mommy. My first real experience was with Eric. Everyone told me Eric was an easy baby. My friend Camie even said he was the easiest baby in the world. I had no frame of reference on this. I just assume he was an easy baby, but I didn't know how easy until... Brooke was born. (cue scary music)

While pregnant with her, we called her princess, then after she was born her nickname became Diva. I'll explain why.

Brooke as a newborn would scream for hours. No amount of food, holding, diaper changes, and attention would stop her. At one time she cried for five hours straight. No swaddling seemed to help. I was already needing sleep to recover from child birth, and Brooke didn't care.

Now here is where I will admit things most mothers don't want to say. They will tell you raising multiple kids is hard. Most won't admit that they have breakdowns.

I was having breakdowns. It was exhaustion. I felt like the most inept mother in the world. I felt worthless, and that I wouldn't be able to do it. Jason would often get home from work, to find me in tears. Brooke's crying would cause Eric to cry, and then I would cry. Her crying would last for hours. I just couldn't take much more.

I was desperate, how desperate? I read a book. The book, Happiest Baby on the Block. By Dr. Harvey Karp. It saved me. Friends and family had recommended it to me.

See Brooke was perfectly healthy, there was no medical needs for her. In the book I learned to not take Brooke's crying as my lack of ability to be a mom. He has a theory that some babies (about 25 percent) are just born with really immature brains for handling life out of the womb. He has a theory of how to calm them and the order you do things. To recreate the womb environment as best as possible. This would remind them of being in mom, and their brains could then switch off to sleep.

Doctor Karp was right, when it came to Brooke.

Now that Brooke is older, she is doing better, but she's still our Diva.

When awake she wants constant attention. Even if you hold her and look at someone else, she can fuss. As long as you are looking at and talking to her she is happy. She likes to be held until asleep, and loves to be shaken to sleep.

So Camie, you are right, Eric was the easiest baby in the world. Clauchette, you were right, girls are totally different even as babies. Dr. Karp, I also think you were right and thank you for writing that book. It really helped.

So sorry to everyone I didn't get thank you notes out sooner for the baby gifts. I had no idea that this baby would drive my temporarily insane. I was exhausted until about two weeks ago. Plus I had a book to read! Then when I was ready to write thank you notes, Eric had kindly taken off with my list and hidden it somewhere. Well two days and several hours later they are all done! Yea!

I also learned that I took too much on when Brooke was born. I will warn everyone to not plan anything for a couple of months after a baby. First we were ill. 12 days after her birth we had to throw a ward activity, my friend Paige (luv ya) did a lot to take it over for me. Then I threw Kim's baby shower at my house. Then we had Brooke's Blessing. Then our annual trip to Disneyland with T.J.'s birthday. Then we had our anniversary and we were all ill again. Then it was time to work on a another ward activity for Halloween. So take it easy new mommies.

In fact if it weren't for Carol's passing I wouldn't have gotten the thank yous done this week. We were originally suppose to be in CA visiting her for Thanksgiving. Then our plans changed.

I have thought of these notes everyday since I started getting gifts, I am so glad they are done, and Brooke is a happier baby. If your note didn't make sense, sorry I tried :). I am sure this blog will help you understand.

I have to go, no one is paying attention to Brooke and she's crying.