Count Your Many Blessings

In my church we sign a lovely song, Count Your Many Blessings. Yesterday I was reminded of this line.

When upon life's billows
You are tempest tossed
When you are discouraged
Thinking all is lost
Count your many blessings
Name them one by one
And it will surprise you
What the Lord has done

Yesterday I was discouraged. Nothing I did would make Eric stop crying. He was over tired and therefore couldn't get himself to sleep. I was taking it all a little too personally, why me, why all this crying?


Then my boss called me yesterday...

I was looking at my baby who had finally fallen asleep when she told me the news about my co-worker, his baby boy had died the night before.

This has affected me greatly. My co-worker and I weren't exactly close, but friendly. His wife was a month ahead me in pregnancy so we shared a lot of details about what was doing on. We compared notes, sizes, ultra sounds etc.

During her fifth month, his wife started to have complications and had the baby delivered by emergency C-section. The baby boy was 1 1/2 pounds and barely hanging on. He was undergoing a lot of care at the hospital, but all seemed hopeful. There were ups and downs, surgeries, infections, concerns, but always hope.

When I felt like complaining about my pregnancy which was proceeding very normally, I was reminded how lucky I was. He would comment to me, that he'd trade me places any day, and he meant it. All of a sudden I didn't feel as tired, bloated, or uncomfortable as I did before I talked to him.

This darling baby boy died after five months in the hospital. He had grown to ten pounds (same size Eric is now) and last week it was mentioned that he'd go home. I am not aware of the details why this little guy passed, not that it matters now.

I immediately began to cry at the news, about a baby I have never met. My thoughts went to this family. I thought back to the moments I had during Eric's complicated birth, when I was afraid I was going to lose him. I felt so awful on so many levels. I feel for them, but I also felt selfish. Until that news, the big thing on my mind was why wouldn't my baby stop crying? Now I am grateful for the healthy cry I was hearing.

Almost every issue I have had to deal with in life, I have learned that someone else has it worse. I need to keep counting those blessings.

When I am missing Tyler because he is spending the summer in CA, I have to remember that I have Tyler to miss in the first place.

When I miss my dad, I have to remember many don't have a dad to miss.

When I don't have the money to buy what I want, I remember I have plenty to buy what I need.

I know this baby no longer suffers and will be happy in heaven with Him. I know that these parents will get the chance to raise this baby in the next life. I am so sorry for what they have gone through losing a child, but I am grateful for the reminder of MY blessings.

Back to the hymn:

Count your blessings
Name them one by one
Count your blessings
See what God has done
Count your blessings
Name them one by one
Count your many blessings
See what God has done

So when you are upset or unhappy write down your blessings, then things look better.

Speaking of blessings, Eric slept through the night last night, all the crying wore him out.